The Reverse Side also has a Reverse Side

Andrea was exhausted. She had walked for five straight hours without finding a way out of the jungle. It was a hot but rainy day. Fog was dense in certain areas of the valley that Andrea could see if she walked closer to the rocky edge of a cliff. She kept repeating in her mind: “You can only find it, if you dont search for it.” “Now what in the world did he mean by that?” As she pondered the meaning, the sun grew hotter and hotter. Prespiration on her forehead turned to sweat. The rain stopped. It seemed as if the gigantic mountain ripped apart the sky with its tip. Andrea thought of the feeling she must have climbing to the top, seeing every living thing, being so close to whomever conceived this majestic land. She kept on moving north, or at least what she thought was north. No compass, no equipment, no water, maybe this was a mistake she kept thinking. But now it was too late, either find it or die trying. Another half of an hour passed and with it so did her last energy, she dropped to her knees, with her hands in the dirt she looked aimlessly around for a lake, or at least some drinkable water. A large puddle of rainwater was situated five feet away, just far enough for her to crawl and fall face down into in. She drank and felt the warm, muddy water scrape down her throat, sand in her mouth. Thats when she passed out. It was the most strange feeling she had ever experienced, slowly the world turned dark like a big black circle closing in slowly around her eyes. With a last glimpse of hope she looked up towards the mountain, if she hadnt thought she was hallucinating from dehydration, she swore she could see an old man with white hair standing on a ledge, looking down.

It was morning outside, ciccadas went to slowly ceasing their nightly chirping rituals. The moon began to fade. Andrea awoke with shock, she didnt know where she was, lying on a mat. Sitting up, she tried to comprehend the beauty of her surroundings. It was an old traditional Zen School. Lotus flowers were placed high above to give the impression there is now roof to cover the building just the pedals themselves. Stones marked the small ways all around the bamboo walls, covered in strange symbols and cirles. It was empty, she could see other mats, where people would sleep on, and a little stove where fresh tea had been prepared. Andrea took down the wet cloth that was on her forehead and slowly stood up, she still didn’t have the strength to walk with a straight back. As she sat down by the stove to drink some tea, a man came in. He wore a black robe, it covered his body almost in entirety. The sleeves around his hands fell almost to the floor. It gave the impression of two giant black holes where his arms where hidden. The man was bald headed but the long white chin-beard indicated that his hair growth had not yet stopped. With a motion of his right hand he pulled slowly on his beard and gently felt through it. Andrea gazed with awe towards him. She had never seen such a vibrant glow around a person as he entered the room. The man seemed to have an aura, his personal energy floating, barely noticeable but still around to catch a glimpse of. “I must be mistaken, but I remember seeing you standing on a ledge right before I passed out.” She said trying to remember her vision. The man looked without blinking, he stared at Andrea and waved his left hand to show her to stand up. She stood up, slightly worried and looked him directly into the eyes. They were white, solid white, the little black pupils were the only counterpoint to them. He slightly bowed down, she imitated his motion and he walked over slowly. “It is always wise to treat everyone with the amount of respect you want given back to you.” His voice echoed through the room. Some might think this is impossible due to the bamboo walls, but it happened and Andrea knew where she was. Suddenly she remembered. This was a Zen school. The most sought after in all of China. She fell to her knees, this time in respect and awe of this monk. “Master Zin Zu. I have been searching for you, I was on the verge of dying out here, thank you.” Andrea said gracefully with her head bent down towards the bamboo flooring.

The monk helped her up and they both walked to the stove and sat down next to it. Zin Zu poured her some tea into the porcelain and they both drank. “What is it that you came this long and dangerous way to find me and my brethren?” He asked.
“It is enlightenment that I seek, I want to learn the teachings of Zen trough Dharma practice and meditation. I have heard so much about you, where did you learn to speak English so well?” She asked. He looked up from his cup and simply shook his head. “I can only speak a sequence of words, what you understand is what you interpret as English.” “I understand.” “I doubt that you do.” He said coldly. “I will teach you the Zen meaning, but you must be patient, and obiedient to everything I say.” He warned her. She nodded and he got up. Zin Zu walked away outside. Andrea was left alone in the room to ponder what he said. Then another man appeared, also from the Zen garden outside. His robe was the same as the master’s. But he was not a born chinese nor of chinese decent. Though bald headed it was clear he came from the western world. The man came to Andrea, he sat down and they drank tea. “Hello, how are you?” “Im fine, thank you for asking, I heard Master Zu saved your life in the jungle down by the mountain?” he asked, slightly grinning. “Indeed, though I dont think it is that funny. Mind you, I almost died.” “Have no fear, no one dies searching for this school, I found it too. I passed out of exhaustion, its the only way.” he replied. Andrea looked puzzled. She stood up, the man did too, during which their arms sligthly touched and both smiled looking into each others eyes. “Come follow me, I will show you around.” He said leading her towards the garden.

The Zen garden was a unified place of peace, monks sat on flat rocks, reading ancient scriptures or meditating. The scent of lotus flowers and the quiet flowing sounds of spring water coming from a well, were overwhelming. None of the other monks seemed to notice this incredibly stunning beautiful woman walking amidst them. Surely it must have startled one or the other, that is what Andrea thought. But she understimated the power of Zen meditation and Dharma. They continued to walk past perfectly placed rocks and even the little gravel stones seemed to be placed equally and individually in its right place, Andrea at first walked slowly as not to disrupt the neat walkway.

“This is the hut that was built for the ones who seek ultimate enlightenment and wisdom. To achieve this, one must percieve the notions of his mind and break free of reality.” He said as both approached a small hut. The man pulled the bamboo sticks aside that were hanging from the roof to cover the entrance. Inside it was dark and cool, even though the sun was directly shining on the roof, inside it felt like a nighttime cool breeze. Mats and pillows lay on the ground aswell as scented wax that was spread on rocks to be used as candles. In the middle of the room, a big statue sat still. “This is Siddhartha Gautama, the founder of our religion, the one to whom we seek for answers.” The statue was of pure gold which almost burned the eyes if you looked to long into it. Andrea could not believe the sight of this giant Buddha sitting in front of her. “It seems to be pure gold, how heavy is this statue?” She asked with curiosity. The man answered: “So heavy only two people with great strength can carry it.”

The next day, Master Zin Zu awoke early in the morning. He arose and looked to his brothers who gathered around and sat down with him in a circle. No one spoke as to await what the master would say. “I will go now, the sun will be my guidance and the dirt my path. Return I shall with important news. Then two of my strongest brothers will follow me along my path. The reverse side also has a reverse side.” as he spoke the echo returned and all the monks listened and held on to every word as if it were a matter of life and death. Zin Zu started to walk along a dirt path deep into the jungle, it took three hours to reach a ledge he was looking for, close to the edge he spotted a shiny object down by the stream After a long climb Zin Zu arrived at the stream, the water was cold, he stepped in to look at the object. Each step of his, was well planned, so as not to touch the two bodys that lay motionless in the cold water.

Master Zin Zu looked at the object and said with even the slightest hint of a grin:
“Meet the Buddha, Kill the Buddha”

The End

If You Love, Love Openly

It was a cold night, the snow fell silent but the streets were alive. The streets are always alive at this time of the year. The kids wearing mittens build snowmen and run about. Women warming themselves under the bright yellowness of the street lights. You can practically smell the christmas spirit from open windows, the queer smell of love and family. All is well except for James. The coldness has reached his hands, his ears, his eyes. Nothing can prevent him from shivering, maybe the brief moment when he takes a match to light a new cigarette. James is leaning out of his window. His expression shows that he can not condone such holiday passion, he cant stand it, he hates it to be exact.
The phone rings. James looks over and drags on his cigarette. Slowly he fumbles about and climbs back into his room. Annoyed he walks over to the phone standing on the little wooden table next to his bed. James sat down on his bed, legs crossed, he steadily reached into the drawer of the table. So as to not empty the ashes of his ashtray onto a scented letter. It was dated December 24th, 1944. Meanwhile the phone still rang, whoever was on the other line, must have patience, James thought. He picked up, coughed and spoke in a slow and soft voice. “Whoever this is, its a bad time.” The person at the other end was Jame’s mother. You could tell by the mood swing of his. It shifted from terrible to worse. “James? Darling is that you? My, your voice is so much older than I had remembered, I almost mistaken you for one of the officials. How is it in the big city? Are they treating you nice?” James used his middle finger and thumb to massage the ends of his eyes. “Yes Dorothy, its great here, its really calmed me down. It seems so long since I was back at home.”
“Well one year is long, honey. Now listen I wanted to call to tell you your father said he is very proud of you, even though he wont admit it and I want to send you some new linen suits. What are your measurements?” James lit another cigarette. He stood up and took the phone and chord with him. As he reached the closet he used his shoulder to hold the phone to his ear.

Cigarette in the edge of his mouth, he continued to open the closet door and fumble to find a greay linen suit. “Same as always.....fuck!” The cigarette fell out of his mouth as he spoke and landed directly on the carpet. “Dear I do not approve of such language!” Dorothy said. “Yeah, Dorothy I know. But if Miss Clemens finds out that I burned the carpet, it will mean I have to live with some sort of consequence.” As he scraped the floor to rid it of the burn marks, the skin of his fingers tore. Suddenly he realised his fingers were torn apart. That window climb and the terrible cold did everything to his body but cure him. James thought for a second and stopped. He lit the cigarette butt on the carpet and watched it burn. “Who is Miss Clemens?” it suddenly sounded from the telephone. “James? Is Miss Clemens the head nurse? Or was that the last name of you-know-who?” James picked up the phone. “Do you really want to know? Miss Clemens takes care of us, she is the head nurse. Jennings was the other.” Dorothy interrupted James: “So the measurements are the same? Didn’t you grow a bit bigger? Good lord, darling don’t they feed you?” “Forget it Dorothy, listen I got to go, like I said its a bad time.” Before his mother could answer, James hung up and lit another cigarette. The carton was almost empty, but he seemed determined to smoke every last one. James went back to the window, by now the windowsill was covered in snow. His room was almost as cold as the outside temperature. He looked out, with his hands gripping the sill. The streets were still full. Men and women with shopping bags, walking toward their cozy apartment. With little children carrying toys and dressed up to last a winter storm in Siberia. James looked west to spot the giant christmas tree, they build up every year, to no avail though, he was too far away.
Suddenly a knock on the door. James spun his head around. Miss Clemens entered the room. She looked like a head nurse with no sexual awareness would look like, her hair was neatly hidden under her little cap, her outfit hid every notion of her being a woman. No smile, just a cold expression, her eyes seemed to have no color, but gave an ever present look of superiority. As she walked into the room, with a bottle of pills in her right hand, she gasped at James standing outside of the window.

The snow blew in with no halt. No matter what happens in the world, mother nature will always continue to go about her ways. “James Carter! Get back inside this instance!” she yelled. James slowly came back inside. “My goodness, you are shaking, I’ll have the nurse bring you some warm milk and a blanket. Where are your bed sheets?” she asked and pointed to his empty bed. James shrugged: “Slept without them last night, someone stole them.” Miss Clemens looked worried, she gave James a few pills from her orange bottle and mad sure he didnt hide them under his tongue. They both sat down on the bed and James used his left hand to caress his right wrist, they had been burned red and irritated. Miss Clemens didnt notice. “Miss Clemens, may I be able to visit the city tomorrow? I’ve been told that a certain person lives here and I would like to visit that said person.” Miss Clemens put away the bottle and shook her head: “Listen James, you know that such a leave is not possible, you are not ready for the big city yet. It is best for all of us if you stay here.” James wanted to reply but Miss Clemens cut him off: “Who is this person you would like to visit? Dont say it is Mary?”

The window was still opened. James answered with a shaking voice. As he spoke Miss Clemens walked over and closed it firmly. “Yes ma’am, Mary is supposedly living here and I want to see her, being she is the reason I am stuck in this place.” “James you know she is dead right?” Miss Clemens asked. “No its not true! Im sure she found a way to tamper with it somehow, I’ve made some calls and found out she is indeed close by, the whole death thing was maybe an act of insecurity, she couldnt know the war would end.” James said and lit his last cigarette from his carton, the others he had ashed on the floor and dropped the butt on the dark blue carpet. As Miss Clemens came back from the wondow she noticed and shook her head in disgust.

“Im going to need to call Mr. Lieberberg so he can clean this up.” “Mary was the only one who ever listened. The only one who ever loved me.” He said while dragging and inhaling the smoke. “Ok Im going to get some new sheets and Mr. Lieberberg.” She said without
noticing James talk. He dropped another butt on the floor and walked back to the window. Miss Clemens walked to the door and stepped onto the corridor. She used her upright walking motion as she always does to scare the other patients. She was the main authority. As she moved to the nurse’s station a young woman approached her. Miss Clemens hadn’t seen her before, but the young woman wore a nurse’s outfit. “Hello, may I ask who you are?” Miss Clemens asked suspiciously. The young woman smiled. Her smile was unmistakably beautiful, as was she. The dark blonde, light brown hair could be seen under her cap and was as soft as silk. Something about her eyes radiated love and understanding. If it werent this late in the evening, the patients would be gathered around this new nurse. “Im the replacement for Miss Simon.” she said still smiling. “Of course, Im sorry, I thought you would start next week.” Miss Clemens said with a relief smile. A quick glimpse to the name tag so as not to make the embarrasing mistake of not knowing her name she asked: “Could you do me a favour and pick up my bottle of Desipramine? I left it in room 365.” while she looked through a closet of fresh bed sheets. “Sure.” the young woman replied and walked along the corridor. But suddenly she stopped in fear, as she heard a loud thumping sound followed by a horrendous and terrible scream, all through the building. It sounded like a woman standing outside on the street could have made it. This type of scream made your blood freeze.

Miss Clemens looked down the corridor and asked: “Miss Jennings? Everything alright?

The End